Dealing with Anger, Hatred and Grudges
The way we deal with the negative emotions in our lives has a lot to do with the way we see ourselves and those around us. We all experience anger and hatred at times but how we handle these emotions differs greatly. We must learn to harness this energy instead of letting it slowly eat away at our inner peace. View anger as an opportunity for improvement not as a reason for aggression. Turn hours or days of negativity into minutes of revelation by learning from upsetting situations.
Anger, hatred and grudges are necessary signals that tell us we need to grow in certain areas. Without these emotions we would stagnate and die prematurely. These emotions motivate us to take action. If these feelings are not addressed and learned from, they tend to linger and cause negative thinking throughout the day. You've heard the saying "To forgive is divine", well the divine part is for the forgiver because they are freed from the negativity they were suffering from! By doing this you will also grow from the experience because to truly forgive you must have tried to understand what caused the anger in the first place. Was it something in yourself, a mis-understanding, an accident, or maybe there is no apparent reason. Even if your reasons are real and valid (although biased), you are the one stuck with the daily negativity. What kind of reward is that for being right?! Write down your feelings and release them on paper. Write down the facts and compare them to your feelings. Determine several solutions to the problem. Choose the best after waiting an hour or more to cool down. Learn from the tension and move closer to inner peace. Positive karma is more powerful than violence. Those who treat others badly suffer far worse then those who treat others with kindness.
Criticism can be healthy but it can also turn one into a judge and jury. Be careful not to raise yourself above others because of your beliefs.
Anger indicates internal problems regardless of who is at fault. Here's a tip to find out what "your" problem really is. Write down who or what you are angry with (your "external" problem). Now write down short-comings within yourself that relate to this "external" problem. These are the real problems you must solve if you want to be free of future anger. If we were perfect then we would not feel anger for others - we would have empathy and try to help others "see the light". The fact that we are angry proves we still have some growing up to do ourselves. Come to think of it, if it wasn't for anger, half the items in this newsletter would not have gotten written.
In summary, reduce your anger, stop your wrath. Don't fret and don't worry - It only leads to harm.
Dealing with Regrets, Failures, and Setbacks:
We all have our regrets, failures, and traumas in life to deal with. How we handle them shapes who and what we become. Our initial reaction may be anger, denial, fear, repression, indifference, depression, or acceptance. The key is to address the issues and grow from them, not simply repress them. We can learn more from failure and injustice than from success. Write on a piece of paper, the setback, your reaction and feelings, the possible causes of the setback and things that you could have done differently. Lastly, write down all you've learned from the experience. Learn to view difficulties as opportunities to grow stronger and smarter. If you look hard enough you will find the answers to your problems.
Dealing with Moments when you get very Upset:
What should you do? You may want to scream and yell and shout but you know that this is a reaction (and a bad one at that), not a response. You must find a way to calm down and sort things out before doing something you may regret later. The fastest and easiest way to "get a grip" on the situation is to write down what the left brain and right brain are thinking. The leftbrain has the "facts" and the right brain has the emotions and insight to the solution. Make sure you write down what you have to lose by making rash decisions. Let some time pass after writing down your thoughts and ideas for the subconscious to "review" them and suggest appropriate solutions or alternatives.
Anger, hatred and grudges are necessary signals that tell us we need to grow in certain areas. Without these emotions we would stagnate and die prematurely. These emotions motivate us to take action. If these feelings are not addressed and learned from, they tend to linger and cause negative thinking throughout the day. You've heard the saying "To forgive is divine", well the divine part is for the forgiver because they are freed from the negativity they were suffering from! By doing this you will also grow from the experience because to truly forgive you must have tried to understand what caused the anger in the first place. Was it something in yourself, a mis-understanding, an accident, or maybe there is no apparent reason. Even if your reasons are real and valid (although biased), you are the one stuck with the daily negativity. What kind of reward is that for being right?! Write down your feelings and release them on paper. Write down the facts and compare them to your feelings. Determine several solutions to the problem. Choose the best after waiting an hour or more to cool down. Learn from the tension and move closer to inner peace. Positive karma is more powerful than violence. Those who treat others badly suffer far worse then those who treat others with kindness.
Criticism can be healthy but it can also turn one into a judge and jury. Be careful not to raise yourself above others because of your beliefs.
Anger indicates internal problems regardless of who is at fault. Here's a tip to find out what "your" problem really is. Write down who or what you are angry with (your "external" problem). Now write down short-comings within yourself that relate to this "external" problem. These are the real problems you must solve if you want to be free of future anger. If we were perfect then we would not feel anger for others - we would have empathy and try to help others "see the light". The fact that we are angry proves we still have some growing up to do ourselves. Come to think of it, if it wasn't for anger, half the items in this newsletter would not have gotten written.
In summary, reduce your anger, stop your wrath. Don't fret and don't worry - It only leads to harm.
Dealing with Regrets, Failures, and Setbacks:
We all have our regrets, failures, and traumas in life to deal with. How we handle them shapes who and what we become. Our initial reaction may be anger, denial, fear, repression, indifference, depression, or acceptance. The key is to address the issues and grow from them, not simply repress them. We can learn more from failure and injustice than from success. Write on a piece of paper, the setback, your reaction and feelings, the possible causes of the setback and things that you could have done differently. Lastly, write down all you've learned from the experience. Learn to view difficulties as opportunities to grow stronger and smarter. If you look hard enough you will find the answers to your problems.
Dealing with Moments when you get very Upset:
What should you do? You may want to scream and yell and shout but you know that this is a reaction (and a bad one at that), not a response. You must find a way to calm down and sort things out before doing something you may regret later. The fastest and easiest way to "get a grip" on the situation is to write down what the left brain and right brain are thinking. The leftbrain has the "facts" and the right brain has the emotions and insight to the solution. Make sure you write down what you have to lose by making rash decisions. Let some time pass after writing down your thoughts and ideas for the subconscious to "review" them and suggest appropriate solutions or alternatives.
HEALTH TIPS
We know we are supposed to eat a balanced daily diet, drink eight 8 ounce glasses of water, and get at least 20 minutes of exercise, but how many of us realize the importance of proper REST? Go, Go, Go, that's our motto! No time to rest - I've got kids you know! Sound familiar?
The stress of fast paced living can take it's toll on our appearance, health, and happiness. Oddly enough, the positive stress from success can be almost as destructive as the negative stress from failure. This is a case of the left side of our brains (logical / time-oriented) being overtaxed and the right side (creative / emotional / intuitive) under-used. The body runs in high gear until it finally breaks down.
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